The teachings of Infinite and my Guardians continues to connect my both ends: the consciousness with subconsciousness. IT allows me to clear my SPACE where things flow, happen or not, depending on its clarity and the presence of awareness that I can loose at times and then rushing my self back into it. The Good well natured life always waits if I fall behind. I am ever grateful for being able to notice to accept to learn and to have the opportunity in my space to have a clarity instead of stuffed events one after another. Thank you Life for being my Teacher and a good friend and a companion.
In last twin nights at the dreaming the scene of a court and a famous face (to me) appeared: Robert Menard* all happy and victorious approached me with a generosity of his hug and recognition, dressed in the mourning black sheet of judge’s robe. Robert has won his case and it was to be celebrated since it included the humanity’s collective sovereignty that this lovely fellow had in mind. He was here to assist humanity and he was here also in my dream.
The next “branch”of a dream was a scene of my mother or rather only surface resemblance of her. The “mother: was speedily aligning her scratched white car into the busy highway. I was the quest in her vehicle. As observed, mother did not check her blind spots of any upcoming cars, she was rushing and with absolute confidence, and busy talking to us, and knowing as if her eyes would be also present on her back, she justly merged within the traffic. It was at dusk in my dream. The speed of her car turned beyond the speed of light and thought and in an instance we have evaporated from this dream condition (state reality) into our sovereign original selves. A “place” of outmost freedom and greatest joy. The place where words cannot trap you only a sole existence gently enveloping. A complete skill with merging of the wholeness and now.(As you can see this last sentence seems a little FRAGMENTED).This has a Purpose here but I will continue.
The mother wasn’t and I – as a physicality – wasn’t. Instead the Beyond existed and my consciousness basking inside it….
Then I noticed a some male figure. He was observing the silver cord which connects me to the physicality’s meltdown. And I wasn’t to go where my mother seemed to navigate her next steps,as this dream was showing me.The possibility here in the dream was to show me a resolution for discovering where my mother could go if she is to pass the way. How smooth it could be for her and easy. As discussed some days earlier with my good sweet intelligent soul friend, people are also “afraid of death because they don’t know where they going”. The information of our conversation was a keeper and it showed up in my dream.
I witnessed this man’s intentional interference: beaming of his cold hostile energy to distract us also from this teaching. To “help him” a telepathic question generated itself to find out what this man wanted, in spite it was already obvious. He felt like Smith from Matrix movie. Because I didn’t react to his weak beams of interfering-for I knew how to “hold” the wholeness, there was no damage done only he got burned out and vanished.
My questions and pondering toward my Guardians formulated at my clairvoyance: The reason and purpose for a Free Will?
While I allowed my higher consciousness teachings to penetrate my human ego = the re-convalescent body uniform to be touching the highest principles in order to achieve total sovereignty in all of my aspects, there arrived a clairvoyant childhood recall as a watch response from the Presence with me.(note:”all my aspects” this term again suggest we are dealing with fragments from the point of the lower perceptionist. This aspects may be also polarized in association with different time lines and their events. And all of this needs to clear and integrate so it doesn’t cause obscure dilutions.)
My Free Will was hugely marked at the childhood years with a guilt:guilt is something like the Smith. It also has the capacity to be like a pipe exhaust of a gaseous origin firmly attached to once desires to have knowledge on its own without the intervention of an adult! So one needs to look out for an opportunity. In other words: the child wants to “play” her mother wants her to wash the dishes.
And besides the guilt there was also an obedience for following somebody’s else commands, living somebody’s else thoughts (ideas), their needs and wants. I have felt I never could fully evolve into the understanding of self.The term self I mean the connection where we come from. Understanding of something to me is full interfacing what free will is or can be, its role and purpose. Certainly in many cases one doesn’t even know there is a such thing as a free will until something inside you prone you to want to do think(g)s on your own regardless of age. It is not the age rather the Soul that is at works, I think, that pulls one into a different angles and augmentations. On the contrary I was the utmost “good child as expected” you could find. ANd that was also to my own detriment, like discouragement. What I mean is I come from the place of pure innocence, to search what life is how things work, not always it is beneficial to have already formatted adult to be telling you her opinion mostly full of distortions. How do you know it is a distortion because it just feels awkward Free Will was given to us for a purpose. Nature doesn’t function in prepared fixed road payeved with asphalt!. And I already know it is all unpredictable. Because there is a heart at play. Heart finds the best ways where the brain, the way it so far is, cannot reach. Besides the heart was created first, it is first born in the body, then it makes the spine and the rest of it, so take it is a sage compare to you.
I recall a repeated scene of a summer hot days. If the commander (my mother) was satisfied with heat and sun she would pack us up and we would go to the water. Some restrictions applied. But I felt she didn’t really cared except how dark sun tend she would get and also she needed a rest. At that very moment I was “free” of her mind and was temporary released from her focus to control me. Off I went to explore to talk to my invisible friends inside of me. This is crucial to grasp I am saying in this very moment I had a full access to life directly! No interference. I was hoping to hear live’s language and I was worried if it did go away because I didn’t have time to pay attention to it all the time due to the above. The live’s language as my way shower and primal teacher, the compass of my heart which was magnetically oriented and at rare times charged with the music of my primal Home. ANd never ever WORDS were spoken.
I don’t know if I was “grateful” to the Sun doing exactly what my mother wanted. My brief happiness was simple: to be left alone so I could get in touch with the authentic.Now I know that was exactly what felt great.
When my mother had enough of baking under the sun I would get to know it half an hour before we had to pack and go home. Her thoughts would reach my consciousness and I started to get disoriented and distracted, probably nervous what was it now that I had to be doing instead of just being a child. And by this very nature I knew a change was coming and cage would be put around me again, symbolically speaking. But if you really “think” of it it is so true and this is how we all get stupid with time.
When in captivity (doing chores which were endless, looking after my younger brother, taking care of my mother’s needs doing ballet, schooling my self in impossible confusion of math, words and a strange people, everybody wanted something = expectation), so when in this kind of a captivity, you might call a conditioning, lack of oxygen to the brain, stress forms, not creative thinking is available at the moment. The heart compensates and speaks to the mind to calm it down using pictures of patience and a reminder for another opportunity to come. There is a point when you can become aware of you are being programmed and there is an equal time when you forget it all together and you let the programs to run your life, void of Free will. Well, I know there is a Supreme Being which watches over all its divine expressions and has make the channels of a day and night differently as to give the opportunity for those who seek it, to “repair one self” so to speak.
Another vivid example is a trip to Poland (42 years ago)?, Sopoty and its sea waters. (This is also a part of the response to my questions in my dreams and how they got answered through recalls and pointing thinks out to me.)
I wouldn’t conceive as a small child that the water which danced me into its body’s shore waves could hurt me in any way. I felt exited for this yet undiscovered place,with its different rolling movement power, how could I fit with it? Thoughts of a child versus thoughts of an adult are unmarked territory against build up army city. I felt I wanted to be one with the water or at least make friends with it. I was really hoping they wouldn’t be watching me for I would get stifled just by their negative don’ts, which was so insulting and discouraging like you have no idea. Plus it is what may cause actual injuries to some kids. THis world is dominated by words and mentality. My world was of no words but pictures and its teachings so I could hope to grow well. In the mental world of words it gave me a hard time for I had a trouble to express my self through them.
Anyway I am trying to get me here to say that somebody the man or the woman (“the parents”) were instructing me not to drink the salty water or else my tummy will get sick. Because it caused a wonderment as to why a salty water would cause an issue I took a sip. As a result because I contradicted my parent’s instructions I started to cough. But I loved the different information it gave me because I experienced a different density, It filled me somehow as if I could see “better” this dark world or something like that. I also had to briefly pretend I didn’t hear them yelling at me to get out of the water because I wanted to experience this different feeling I had of the salt. I was “eating” something and it felt good to me. When I was drinking a soft sweet water it support me. So that is what I got while chocking on this water/parental reprimand. I felt also stupid for getting cough and for being reprimanded instead of supported, and asked what I was doing.
the preference for being left alone grown inside of me. It would be so good for my spine would feel connected (also through the many many hours of ballet and movement) to Infinite instead of construed by stuff.
The point is when one is left alone without the adults already formulated opinions and drama, one can find/see authenticity. And I think that is one of the reasons for free will. If you find something that feels new to you you then employ your mind into its creativity aspects how your findings could be extended into some applications and such. Authenticity likes to stay the way it presents it self to us, we must meet it without words and opinions.
As a side effect one might feel special for a brief second. The two worlds, one living in silent observation of enriching pictures, the other physical world of words, their meaning of life being backwards, stupidity and blindness. It is a miracle that some children are able to live within such a split and are not the subject of a mental cause deformation but only some ridicule and or bulling. It all washes over you as the sea wave which came to me the first time wrapping it self around my tiny body and with its masterful spin gently lay me down onto the shore. I stood up surprised and honored. The body of water had more wits then a new parents not knowing ever what to do with a child and how to raise it with love only. IT doesn’t matter. As balance seeks its continuum within its created tension so we seek purity within our daily experiences. Free will can be polarized, definitely manipulated, denied, conveniently overlooked. But if one leaves the eyes naked it still can discern the original from a fake and or a coverup.